flat assembler
Message board for the users of flat assembler.

Index > Heap > Too many fake friends - how to deal with them?

Goto page 1, 2  Next
Author
Thread Post new topic Reply to topic
OzzY



Joined: 19 Sep 2003
Posts: 1029
Location: Everywhere
OzzY
A friend of mine (a girl) says "I can't go. I have to study" or some other fake thing when I call her to go out, to the movies ou somewhere else.

But then she calls other friends and put the phrase on the messenger "finding someone to go to the movies with me" or "I meet you guys in 15 minutes".

I wonder, if she doesn't like my company as friend, why she doesn't say "I don't like like you. Please never talk to me again." instead of faking that she has something else to do or can't talk to me at the moment?

Damn... I hate fake friends. How do you guys deal with it?

At the moment I just said to her at the messenger some nasty things like "if you don't like my company why don't you say that to me instead of playing your childish games and faking situations to not go out with me? If you want it that way, it will be that way..."

and then I blocked her at the messenger. But hopefully she will call me back if she has some dignity. If not, I really don't care.

Changing my life for a 2008 without fake friends. Razz
Post 09 Feb 2008, 18:41
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
vid
Verbosity in development


Joined: 05 Sep 2003
Posts: 7105
Location: Slovakia
vid
Don't mind it - most girls are not very sincere. I quess she "doesn't want to hurt your feelings", and doesn't realize this way it's much worse. I've been dealing with same problem few times.

I wouldn't call this "fake friend", she could still be friend, but just doesn't want to go out with you.
Post 09 Feb 2008, 18:52
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger ICQ Number Reply with quote
edfed



Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 4237
Location: 2018
edfed
in france, we have many word for friend relationships.
sorted from the worse to the best:

- faux culs
- connaissance
- collegue
- pote
- amis
- frere

your friend seems to be a "faux cul"

i don't have friends.
only the 4 first types and the last one (frere = brother)
Post 09 Feb 2008, 19:10
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Reply with quote
OzzY



Joined: 19 Sep 2003
Posts: 1029
Location: Everywhere
OzzY
vid: To me it IS a fake friend.

The person says to me "I can't go out with you. I'd really like to go, but I have to clean up the mess in my bedroom."

and at the same time it talks to other person "Hey! Let's go to the movies!" at the orkut.

To me a non-fake way would be "Hey! I'll go out with someone else. I don't want to go out with you.".
I WOULD do this way. When I like I like, when don't like I tell the person that I don't like.
Post 09 Feb 2008, 20:39
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
asmfan



Joined: 11 Aug 2006
Posts: 392
Location: Russian
asmfan
1. She doesn't want to be the cause of problems like break up.
2. She is't brave enough to brake the first rule.
...
n. She's making a secret party praparations for you )
Post 09 Feb 2008, 20:47
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
vid
Verbosity in development


Joined: 05 Sep 2003
Posts: 7105
Location: Slovakia
vid
If that's the case, i think you acted right way. I had same problem (twice actually), and keeping such dishonesty doesn't help in any way.
Post 09 Feb 2008, 21:11
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger ICQ Number Reply with quote
bitRAKE



Joined: 21 Jul 2003
Posts: 2913
Location: [RSP+8*5]
bitRAKE
Some people don't do confrontation. This is a passive technique use to maximally maintain relationships with minimal "energy" put into the relationship - kind of leaving it in a floating state. Women often network without burning bridges - leaving options open.

What you have discovered is the current state of your relationship with her. Not that it can't develop further, or she doesn't enjoy your company. Rather she has other options to explore and would like to leave her options open with you. She didn't expect you to find out, obviously.

I know some people that wouldn't even have brought it to her attention - just found another partner. Clearly, you thought more of the relationship than she. Maybe, that will peek her interest in you and she'll invest some energy in damage control - not likely with young women.
Post 09 Feb 2008, 22:35
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Reply with quote
asmhack



Joined: 01 Feb 2008
Posts: 431
asmhack
the conclusion is one... it's better having a few, but real friends, than many and 'fake' that won't help you when you need them.
i know all the guys/girls in my area but i would not say that they are all my 'friends'... just saying a 'hello' when seeing each other... i have a few real friends basicly knowing them many years, from childhood and i think that's the most important.. you can't meet someone some months ago and say he/she is a real friend...
Post 10 Feb 2008, 00:21
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
sleepsleep



Joined: 05 Oct 2006
Posts: 8885
Location: ˛                             ⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣⁣Posts: 334455
sleepsleep
nowadays, $$ == friends
real friends require you to expose your true self so as the him/her. (well, most people like to wear a mask)
Post 10 Feb 2008, 03:13
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
edfed



Joined: 20 Feb 2006
Posts: 4237
Location: 2018
edfed
the mask!
there is the big question.
psychologically, it means, that people don't have in mind the reality, they don't see the world as it is really.
they only have the imagination of the society, the "official" mind.
babylon is full of fake, friends, wives, pets, money, etc...
all these things are the babylon circus.
it's a theater, were everybody is an actor. i try to don't be an actor, i don't enter in this circle.
the harder is to ignore the things you "can" have. friends, wives, pets, money...
and believe in the only thing you really have, your consciousness.
only your consciousness is real.
your body is fake, it can be a fat, a short, a big, a strong, an ugly, a woman, a man, a bird....
but your mind is unique and yours for all the time you'll live.
so, relationship is largelly under this fact.
i on't believe in friends, i only believe in sun shining, sky blueing, sea waving, and life living...
this is "my" solution do never be disapointed by deceptions and sadness.

the only problem i meet is in my own mind. what problem i have is created by my mind. always.
Post 10 Feb 2008, 03:42
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Reply with quote
MCD



Joined: 21 Aug 2004
Posts: 604
Location: Germany
MCD
OzzY wrote:
A friend of mine (a girl) says "I can't go. I have to study"

In such situation, I would certainly ask to help with her studies, since learning together is often much easier.
Post 13 Feb 2008, 21:01
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
MichaelH



Joined: 03 May 2005
Posts: 402
MichaelH
Maybe this thread should be renamed to "The stalkers how to" ..... scary stuff for any parent to read Shocked
Post 13 Feb 2008, 23:59
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
bitRAKE



Joined: 21 Jul 2003
Posts: 2913
Location: [RSP+8*5]
bitRAKE
MichaelH wrote:
Maybe this thread should be renamed to "The stalkers how to" ..... scary stuff for any parent to read Shocked
How so? I've read the whole thread twice and I'm not getting the 'stalker' vibe. Do you think Ozzy is too possessive - it's a stretch, but the only thing I could think of relating to your comment.
Post 14 Feb 2008, 03:18
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Reply with quote
MichaelH



Joined: 03 May 2005
Posts: 402
MichaelH
Quote:

Do you think Ozzy is too possessive


Well there are a lot of young people here and so they may have a different view of things to someone like myself who have children and wish only the best for them.

This girls seems like she is a nice girl in that she tried to turn Ozzy's approach down without hurting his feelings. In return Ozzy gets all hostile and posts in a public forum that this girls plays childish games, should show some dignity etc. Then MCD suggests Ozzy should suggest he "helps with her studies" ..... too possessive, no I'd go further than that as a parent and call this thread out and out creepy Sad

You guys need to learn to treat women with total respect. If they turn you down, then act like a gentleman and move on.
Post 14 Feb 2008, 04:41
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
rhyno_dagreat



Joined: 31 Jul 2006
Posts: 487
Location: Maryland, Unol Daleithiau
rhyno_dagreat
MichaelH wrote:
Quote:

Do you think Ozzy is too possessive


Well there are a lot of young people here and so they may have a different view of things to someone like myself who have children and wish only the best for them.

This girls seems like she is a nice girl in that she tried to turn Ozzy's approach down without hurting his feelings. In return Ozzy gets all hostile and posts in a public forum that this girls plays childish games, should show some dignity etc. Then MCD suggests Ozzy should suggest he "helps with her studies" ..... too possessive, no I'd go further than that as a parent and call this thread out and out creepy Sad

You guys need to learn to treat women with total respect. If they turn you down, then act like a gentleman and move on.


In all honesty, I would rather be told the truth than someone beating around the bush and lying to me.
Post 14 Feb 2008, 06:07
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
MichaelH



Joined: 03 May 2005
Posts: 402
MichaelH
I agree rhyno_dagreat, telling the truth is always best in the long term. But to be honest, I think this thread is more about Ozzy already admitting elsewhere that he is depressed and wants to end his life. No one here has yet to stop being fake and tell Ozzy that he needs to seek help for his depression.

OzzY, always, absolutely always, treat women with the upmost respect. Posting this thread about someone no one knows here is not showing any respect to her at all.

If you don't want to seek professional help for your depression, then go buy some running shoes and pound the pavement. Exercise is the key to starting on a path to both physical and emotional health.

When you get back to a point where you feel all you want to do is put a women up on a pedestal and treat her like a princess, then start asking women out on dates again. At this point in your life it should be all about getting well again.

Good luck
Regards Michael
Post 14 Feb 2008, 08:22
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Borsuc



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 2466
Location: Bucharest, Romania
Borsuc
MichaelH wrote:
OzzY, always, absolutely always, treat women with the upmost respect. Posting this thread about someone no one knows here is not showing any respect to her at all.
Yeah especially if they treat you like a dog Rolling Eyes

Isn't that what Ozzy was complaining about?
Post 14 Feb 2008, 15:35
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
rugxulo



Joined: 09 Aug 2005
Posts: 2341
Location: Usono (aka, USA)
rugxulo
I'm not sure Ozzy is really clinically depressed, maybe just a little lonely. (But yeah, real depression is a serious medical issue.)
Post 14 Feb 2008, 19:00
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website Reply with quote
MichaelH



Joined: 03 May 2005
Posts: 402
MichaelH
Quote:

Yeah especially if they treat you like a dog


Yes, even if they treat you like a dog. Like I said, absolutely always.

Being a man is about being a gentleman at all times. It's about having pride in ones self. It's not about complaining in a public forum that some girl rejected you and now you are angry.

Quote:

real depression is a serious medical issue


Indeed! Anyone feeling they may be suffering depression, seek help. Youth suicide rates are alarming.
Post 14 Feb 2008, 20:39
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
m



Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 304
Location: in
m
in my experience (a friend of mine has depression) there is no real cure other than
self control and will power.
Post 15 Feb 2008, 07:08
View user's profile Send private message Reply with quote
Display posts from previous:
Post new topic Reply to topic

Jump to:  
Goto page 1, 2  Next

< Last Thread | Next Thread >
Forum Rules:
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You can attach files in this forum
You can download files in this forum


Copyright © 1999-2020, Tomasz Grysztar.

Powered by rwasa.