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madmatt



Joined: 07 Oct 2003
Posts: 1045
Location: Michigan, USA
madmatt
I was looking for a solar charger for my cell phone and came across what has to be the strangest review for any product I have ever read. I would say that he was drunk (and/or high), but seems a little too long winded for that. maybe an insane asylum someplace allows patients access to computers now? Laughing Confused

LINK: http://www.amazon.com/Solar-Battery-Charger-Mobile-Phone/dp/B001LBT50I/ref=tag_dpp_lp_edpp_ttl_ex

TEXT:
Quote:

A review of the "USB Solar Battery Charger for Mobile Cell Phone MP3 MP4", August 1, 2011
By Geo hacker "beestal" (Sacramento, CA United States) - See all my reviewsAmazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: USB Solar Battery Charger for Mobile Cell Phone MP3 MP4 (Misc.)
A review of the "USB Solar Battery Charger for Mobile Cell Phone MP3 MP4", available at Amazon.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The "USB Solar Battery Charger for Mobile Cell Phone MP3 MP4" ultimately provides a complex foil for contemplating the role of consumer electronics in today's post-industrial economies of symbolic manipulation. How do we characterize the role of the user within the force fields applied by user interface on one hand, and function on the other? From the delightfully poor translation of the English instructions, to the joy I took in having to disassemble and reassemble the wall charger because the circuit board was not connecting with its AC prongs, the unboxing experience left me well prepared to indulge in a phantasmagorically convoluted proposition about the interface of tools relative to their "usefulness" that is the important mark of this solar charger. *Spoiler Alert* What is truly special about this device is best discovered over two full weeks of trying to get it to work. But at the end of your sojourn, it is the near total lack of any actual or practical application for this item - especially toward any kind of battery related "charging" activity - that will amaze and enlighten you, your friends, family and geeky colleagues. *Spoiler over*

Directly out of the box the solar panel causes the lovely green LED to activate. Move it away from the light, the green LED goes dim. Re-expose it to the light and the LED reignites! After discovering this, which as it turns out is the only feature of the charger that actually works as described in the SMANUEL, you are well on your way to entertaining questions about your "perceived need" to charge your various information and infotainment devices using solar energy. The action, aka ontological engagement, really ramps up as you attempt to charge some "actual" items with it. During this time the breathtaking world of hard truths that best describe this device begin to reveal themselves in more depth. The "3 method" presented in the "SOLAR CHARGER USER' SMANUEL" are best summarized as: 1) Charge in the sun for 12-14 hours before using one of the many adapters to charge your device. (Personal note, the adapter I needed was not included, forestalling a more complete immediate understanding but forshadowing events to come.) 2) Charge the device with the included AC adapter, and then use the adapter to charge your mobile device. Finally and most importantly: 3) As I will argue is in full conceptual congruence, the "SMANUEL" never really gets around to revealing the mysterious third charging option promised, and further the USB connector, power jack, and green LED similarly yield no clue. This, as you will see, is central to understanding what is really going on here.

Maybe this "third technique" actually works - hell I don't know - but by this point in the experience after totally draining the battery on both test phones (read: actually quite the opposite of what I took to be the devices intended effects), I had actually begun to yearn for a more sophisticated - and I will admit - some kind of more artsy, darkly satisfying, vague conclusion with lots of angst and irony and stuff. After all, returns and the shipping involved are universally understood to be much less satisfying in their function as nostalgia than even the darkest moments of any film major's freshman dirge. The solar charger? It did not disappoint! Users are met head on with a tour-de-force of utter refusal to perform as one might assume, suggesting a highly conceptual and aggressive denial of geek technical pleasure.

Which brings me to the point of asking: Laura Mulvey, where are you when we need you? My psychoanalytic readings of cultural objects have always been a little weak, and I have leaned on you heavily for related analysis of the cinema. But this is user interface. Albeit a limited one, (by my best estimates possesing between one and three degrees of operational freedom), and although the tacit assumptions that such cultural devices index "invite" us to perceive them as "available to us" for some kind of operation that is at least generally congruent to the affordances of the Josef von Sternberg classic Blue Angel, it nevertheless seems necessary to formulate an intellectual framework goes beyond simple voyeurism and scopophilia. UI-pleasure objects demand that the user touch them and accomplish selfish tasks with them, which is quite different from the isolated and constrained situation of the cinema, the "user" alone in the dark, with the consequent narrow focus of non-interactive visual attention that is demanded by the cinema. But returning to the main point, another entirely worthless experiment that I tried was to plug the charger into one of the two mobiles I tested it with, and then leave them both in the sun, hoping that the solar panel would directly charge the phone's battery. This turned out to be - of course - just another very cruelly failed side trip that the device both affords and instantiates as its central meme, providing an even more tangible depth to its dismal, minimalist and even existential user experience. Existential you say? Yes, existential in the Heideggerian sense of tool usage and the Dasein as you begin to deeply embrace the ontology of the solar "charger" through its steadfast refusal to "charge." And if this is not the deeper meaning of the device, then tell me, what is it? Laura, anything left in the tank for us?

The final portion of my UI experience was by far the most surprising, and indeed, strangely uplifting. Feeling "set free" from care or concern for "chargers", "charging" and even the "devices" I had intended to "charge" (and also because the green LED was becoming - as all good things eventually do with time - a little less charming), I left it out on a cot in the yard in a final vain attempt to nourish it via solar radiation. Then, I forgot about it entirely and left for the day. And while I was gone, it rained. Upon returning home, my first thought upon seeing it submerged in an inch or so of fresh rain water, gently spooned as it was in the concave reservoir provided by the tightly knitted nylon of the cot, was this: "Oh no, I ruined my cool brushed aluminum thingy that turns sunlight into a pretty green LED glow. Damn, are the rabbits eating my Pomelo tree bark again?" So, you must imagine my delighted surprise as I drew closer to the cot and discovered that the SOLAR PANEL ILLUMINATES THE GREEN LED EVEN UNDER WATER! This charger is, if nothing else, the most dependable little photon detector I have ever owned. After moments of joyful perseveration (green LED off, turn toward sun, green LED on, turn away from sun, green LED off...), I returned the wet device and all the provided cables and adapters back into to the handsomely designed box - complete with cool magnetic latches btw - and put the complete kit in a safe place where I also hide my vintage 1970s pet rock. This is a keeper. I feel certain that both of treasures will be worth their weight in contemplative value for generations to come, even if one displays a grade of intentionality that the other does not.

In the final analysis: Five stars overall. Battery life, well, I lied a bit here because the single star I gave it nevertheless tends to imply that it is capable of some level of actual device charging. It is not, but zero stars are not an option. Ease of Use: Five Stars, as the pretty green "photons detected" LED lights up even under water, a feature which requires no buttons and is entirely intuitive. (Green LED off, turn toward sun, green LED on, turn away from sun, green LED off...) The important obersvation may be that this charger - in a strictly tabular or logical sense - does not require any actual cognitive effort to utilize, because no amount effort to actuate it will actually suffice, at least under my provisional theory. This is the paradox of the "USB Solar Battery Charger for Mobile Cell Phone MP3 MP4", specifically that an appreciation of the deeper waters of its no-feature feature set is in fact so very hard to win.

_________________
Gimme a sledge hammer! I'LL FIX IT!
Post 03 Sep 2011, 13:49
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Coty



Joined: 17 May 2010
Posts: 546
Location: ␀
Coty
This topic expresses my deep joy of photon detectors, as well as light emitting diodes coupled with vintage 1970's pet rock, as I read this topic I decided that sharpies are not as bad for you as one would think. Evergoing run on topics like this with random thoughts were ADHD sways and your fingers type, remind me of linux and what I often do. Being mad can be very fun with enough solar heated coffee. I think I to will get one of these nifty solar things as they seem well durable like my SAMSUNG hue. I recently payed $37 to fill up my ford focus. This solar thingy will sit on it's dash when I get it. I ordered some memory from newegg, maybe with enough of these durable photon reactors I may make my netbook 100% green.

-------------

Laughing Man I should ramble on more often Laughing
Post 03 Sep 2011, 14:06
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typedef



Joined: 25 Jul 2010
Posts: 2913
Location: 0x77760000
typedef
I think he was being funny.
Post 03 Sep 2011, 15:04
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Enko



Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Posts: 678
Location: Mar del Plata
Enko
It isn't so strange, the "smanuals" these days are very poor. Does someone remember the manuals of old mobile phones, the ones that had only calling function with 10 entries in phonebook?
those manuals where about 150 pages long with lots of complete instructions.

Today, you get somthing like Samsung i8000 with windows mobile and the manual is 20 pages long.

And here I'm talking about branded phones. If you but some cheap mp4, mp4, mp5, mp7 the manual comes in chines or "Inglysh", "Inglesh" or somthing like that.
Post 03 Sep 2011, 15:19
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madmatt



Joined: 07 Oct 2003
Posts: 1045
Location: Michigan, USA
madmatt
Coty wrote:
This topic expresses my deep joy of photon detectors, as well as light emitting diodes coupled with vintage 1970's pet rock, as I read this topic I decided that sharpies are not as bad for you as one would think. Evergoing run on topics like this with random thoughts were ADHD sways and your fingers type, remind me of linux and what I often do. Being mad can be very fun with enough solar heated coffee. I think I to will get one of these nifty solar things as they seem well durable like my SAMSUNG hue. I recently payed $37 to fill up my ford focus. This solar thingy will sit on it's dash when I get it. I ordered some memory from newegg, maybe with enough of these durable photon reactors I may make my netbook 100% green.

-------------

Laughing Man I should ramble on more often Laughing


Are you his twin brother? Smile

_________________
Gimme a sledge hammer! I'LL FIX IT!
Post 03 Sep 2011, 15:34
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typedef



Joined: 25 Jul 2010
Posts: 2913
Location: 0x77760000
typedef
Quote:
USER SMANUEL


LOL Very Happy Very Happy
Post 03 Sep 2011, 17:14
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HyperVista



Joined: 18 Apr 2005
Posts: 691
Location: Virginia, USA
HyperVista
He's the Hunter S. Thompson of product reviews. Laughing
Post 03 Sep 2011, 17:24
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typedef



Joined: 25 Jul 2010
Posts: 2913
Location: 0x77760000
typedef
HyperVista wrote:
He's the Hunter S. Thompson of product reviews. Laughing

OMG, here are some of his quotes
Quote:

The streets of every city in America are filled with men who would pay all the money they could lay their hands on to be transformed, even for a day, into hairy, hard-fisted brutes who walk all over cops, extort drinks from terrified bartenders and roar out of town on big motorcycles after raping the banker's daughter.


Quote:

Women are terrified of being raped, but somewhere in the back of the womb there is one rebellious nerve end that tingles with curiosity whenever the word is mentioned



I had never heard some of his quotes.

Quote:

Morality is temporary, wisdom is permanent.

Paranoia is just another word for ignorance.

I shit on the chest of Fun.

We shit on the chest of Weird.

Music has always been a matter of energy to me, a question of fuel. Sentimental people call it inspiration, but what they really mean is fuel. I have always needed fuel. I am a serious consumer. On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio.

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

The only difference between the Sane and the Insane, is IN and yet within this world, the Sane have the power to have the Insane locked up.

All political power comes from the barrel of either guns, pussy, or opium pipes, and people seem to like it that way.

I understand that fear is my friend, but not always. Never turn your back on fear. It should always be in front of you, like a thing that might have to be killed.

The only ones left with any confidence at all are the New Dumb. It is the beginning of the end of our world as we knew it. Doom is the operative ethic.

We have become a Nazi monster in the eyes of the whole world, a nation of bullies and bastards who would rather kill than live peacefully. We are not just Whores for power and oil, but killer whores with hate and fear in our hearts. We are human scum, and that is how history will judge us. No redeeming social value. Just whores. Get out of our way, or we'll kill you. Who does vote for these dishonest shitheads? Who among us can be happy and proud of having all this innocent blood on our hands? Who are these swine? These flag-sucking half-wits who get fleeced and fooled by stupid little rich kids like George Bush? They are the same ones who wanted to have Muhammad Ali locked up for refusing to kill gooks. They speak for all that is cruel and stupid and vicious in the American character. They are the racists and hate mongers among us; they are the Ku Klux Klan. I piss down the throats of these Nazis. And I am too old to worry about whether they like it or not. Fuck them.

Now, years later, I still have trouble when I think about Chicago ('6Cool. That week at the Convention changed everything I'd ever taken for granted about this country and my place in it... Everytime I tried to tell somebody what happened in Chicago I began crying , and it took me years to understand why... Chicago was the End of the Sixties, for me.

It was wonderful, a stunning happy ending to what began as just another tragic rock & roll story, as if Bob Dylan had been arrested in Miami for jacking off in a seedy little XXX theater while stroking the spine of a fat young boy.

I was also drunk, crazy and heavily armed at all times. People trembled and cursed when I came into a public room and started screaming in German.

I knew a Buddhist once, and I've hated myself ever since. The whole thing was a failure.



Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Hunter_S._Thompson


lol
Post 03 Sep 2011, 17:59
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Coty



Joined: 17 May 2010
Posts: 546
Location: ␀
Coty
madmatt wrote:
Are you his twin brother? Smile

Yes, were all mad here, lol.
Post 03 Sep 2011, 18:46
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typedef



Joined: 25 Jul 2010
Posts: 2913
Location: 0x77760000
typedef
Coty wrote:
madmatt wrote:
Are you his twin brother? Smile

Yes, were all mad here, lol.

Image
Really ?
Post 03 Sep 2011, 18:49
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Coty



Joined: 17 May 2010
Posts: 546
Location: ␀
Coty
Image
... no Laughing
Post 03 Sep 2011, 20:31
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typedef



Joined: 25 Jul 2010
Posts: 2913
Location: 0x77760000
typedef
Coty wrote:
.. no Laughing


Image
OK
Post 03 Sep 2011, 21:37
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