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Index > Heap > If Operating Systems Were Beers...

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bitshifter



Joined: 04 Dec 2007
Posts: 764
Location: Massachusetts, USA
bitshifter
DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read
the directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only
came in an 8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the
can is divided into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be
accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of
people are going to keep drinking it after it's no longer
available.

Mac Beer: At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can.
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look
identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself.
The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about
the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A
notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the
trashcan.

3.1 Beer: The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a
lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer.
Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers
simultaneously,but in reality you can only drink a few of them,
very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer
at the same time. Sometimes, for apparently no reason, a can
of Windows Beer will explode when you open it..

OS/2 Beer: Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers
simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer
simultaneously too, but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans
won't explode when you open them, even if you shake them up. You
never really see anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer
(International Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs
have been sold.

95 Beer: You can't buy it yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it and
claim it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but
tastes more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but
when you look inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them.
Most people will probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until
their friends try Windows 95 Beer and say they like it. The
ingredients list, when you look at the small print, has some of the
same ingredients that come in DOS beer, even though the
manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.

NT Beer: Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload.
This causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger
refrigerators. The can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but
the company promises to change the can to look just like Windows
95 Beer's - after Windows 95 beer starts shipping. Touted as an
"industrial strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars.

Unix Beer: Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to
64 oz. Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even
though they claim that all the different brands taste almost
identical. Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open
them, so you have to have your own can opener around for those
occasions, in which case you either need a complete set of
instructions, or a friend who has been drinking Unix Beer for
several years.

VMS Beer: Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and
sipping. However cans have been known on occasion to explode, or
contain extremely un-beer-like contents.

_________________
Coding a 3D game engine with fasm is like trying to eat an elephant,
you just have to keep focused and take it one 'byte' at a time.
Post 12 Apr 2009, 10:52
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Borsuc



Joined: 29 Dec 2005
Posts: 2466
Location: Bucharest, Romania
Borsuc
ROFL!!! Very HappyLaughing

Best part was with the "International Beer Manufacturing". LMAO I'm still laughing Laughing
Post 13 Apr 2009, 01:14
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Raedwulf



Joined: 13 Jul 2005
Posts: 375
Location: United Kingdom
Raedwulf
Needs to be updated with all the latest flurry of operating systems!
Post 14 Apr 2009, 05:57
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